I thought about a new life countless times. A thousand, several thousands, maybe more — literally. I was obsessed with it for ten years. New life right now, new life from Monday, new life from the first day of a month, new life on unique dates — like the second of February, two thousand twenty. I even thought that I finally did it two and a half years ago — but understood, that I have not started the new life: it was just the final chapter in defining my core system of values and professional paths, in which I put my beliefs into the test. I do not regret about any of my actions during this chapter.
When someone wants to tell about his or her life, the story usually starts from the past. My life story differs from what people usually hear. At the age of twenty-four, I have completed my main goal of ten years. I was absorbing and analyzing any helpful information, any knowledge about possible life developments, value systems, professional decisions — every day, literally.
At the age of twenty-four, I have seen and experienced two extremes. Outcome of becoming bilingual, move to another city, successful self-employment, move to another country, ability to earn several times more. Very hard childhood, outcomes of being cheated in two relationships in a row, life in internationally known slums, self-defense in a court, work in an unbelievably inhuman successful fast food restaurant during the Coronavirus epidemic, extreme poverty, riots across the whole city, contemplation of dozens of drug addict crowds and gun shot victims covered in blood. Absolute loneliness all this time.
At the age of twenty-four, I have seen and experienced even more than that.
However, some of my life features are typical for our time, so I will start from the present. I will tell about my four present faults and four present virtues. I will start from the most widespread topics through the simplest forms — and will end with the least common topics but through the most complicated forms I could to use at that moment.
I faced my most destructive inner demons and accepted them. So, I decided to share my present in the hope, that my story could save you from taking the same road.